My Year of Stress & Tax Evasion

Field Trip | No.66

Field Trip is a homebase for the research and references that inform the work and life of designer Lauren Scarlett

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[RESEARCH ©FT]

I checked my calendar the other day and realised it had been a year since I officially became a freelancer. Among those 365 days were some of the most exciting, boring, confusing, and motivating days of my life. In constant fluctuation between a state of freedom and unemployment, I got stuff done but never quite felt like I was doing enough. On good days, I swore I was the greatest designer on earth; on bad days, I felt like wasted potential screaming into an empty void.

Amidst bigger client jobs, starting four projects, and creating a lot of random stuff, I continually questioned what the fuck I was doing. Luckily, I documented all the phases and the changes of my mind, here. I published 30 newsletters, and despite many of them being unpublished now, I’m glad I invited people to witness the messy process of figuring it out.

The most important thing I learned was that doing nothing guarantees stagnancy. If you want to give yourself a chance, your only choice is to try. Even if it feels like you’re moving a mere inch forward every day, you’ll be rewarded for simply being in motion. It’s not until I actually sat and thought about the past year that I realised how much of my effort has compounded. Things I did three years ago paid off last year in random roundabout ways, and things I do now will (hopefully) pay off down the line in ways I can’t predict. There are a million clichés I could spout about getting the ball rolling, but I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to just start and keep going.

I don’t know how to do my taxes or schedule myself in a way that doesn’t piss people off, but I do know we’re living in a time where a working-class, young woman can build the life she wants and do it completely on her own terms. After spending a long time feeling like I needed to get my foot in the door of certain rooms, being out on my own has taught me that I can go get my own room and choose exactly who I want to let in it. The creative industries are far more malleable than we’re led to believe and there’s a way to navigate them in a way that suits you. So fuck tradition, choose unconventional routes, let yourself be misunderstood, and know that people will catch up when they’re ready.

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[REFERENCES ©FT]

What I Listened To:

1. Bleachers by Bleachers

2. Mika’s Laundry by Matt Champion

3. The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan

4. COWBOY CARTER by Beyoncé

5. Oh, Gemini by Role Model

6. Too Sweet by Hozier