Overwhelmed at the Salad Bar
Field Trip | No.67
Field Trip is a homebase for the research and references that inform the work and life of designer Lauren Scarlett
[RESEARCH ©FT]
Spring is finally here. It’s my mother’s birthday, my best friend is on a flight to Australia, and we’re in between Coachella weekends. The ache of longing is severe, but I’m headed into London. The sun dapples the interior of the train and as it rests on my face, I let the idea of being elsewhere slip in. I imagine the desert heat of Indio, and only sweet memories form the alternate reality in my mind. In this moment, I’m not foolishly thinking of people who don’t think about me. In this moment, I have it all, I made it out, the world is utterly mine.
My song ends, and the announcement of “we are now approaching London Paddington” infiltrates my fantasies; the great western railway service doesn’t care for my sentiment. London soothes my desperate need for distraction with its absolute lack of softness. Before I know it, I’m overwhelmed at the salad bar, the tube screech pierces through any attempt at a daydream, and I’m acutely aware of my belongings in my pockets. It’s impossible not to be present here.
My slow-moving, small-town self is often given too much time to think, and while I’d rather wait for the next one than rush, London demands more of me. I wonder if my full potential waits for me here, or maybe in another city. I question if that’s why I’ve never made the move. I confuse myself with a simultaneous love and hatred for a quiet life and wonder if a place exists that can give me everything I want.
For now, my dreams are put on hold while I live out the one I used to have back home. I keep my balance and think about how many people have touched this pole and how many cranes litter an almost beautiful skyline. The lines of reality and make-believe blur because I don’t think there's one without the other. So I’ll go back to a town that most definitely sleeps, and I’ll romanticise the lives I’m not living. I’ll shower the city off of me and immediately pick a day to return.
[REFERENCES ©FT]
What I Listened To:
What I Watched:
The Society of the Snow
Top Gun
Top Gun: Maverick
Coyote Ugly
A Few Good Men
The simultaneous love and hatred is so relatable! Not sure if we can ever have it all but maybe there's beauty in that x